Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
