its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
