I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
