Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize