dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
