tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
