my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
