She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
zippers are such a cool invention
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
FUCK WHALES
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