Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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