At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You're completely useless in the revolution.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
