How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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