WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
