yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
