I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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