We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
These tits shall not be calmed
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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