what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
