I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
