we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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