So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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