Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
