Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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