Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
