you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
