my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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