I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
