is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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