You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm at about main and main street
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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