You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
the raccoons are back...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
