i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
