so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
