My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
