There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
there was a trapeze. enough said
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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