yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
