honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
