You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
