I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
