me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
