I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
