just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
