Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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