Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm at about main and main street
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
