Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
