Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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