I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
