I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
