After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She said her name was "party"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
