i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It's Friday. Sex?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
