he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
