We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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