Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
