have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
