Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
