he shaved USA in his pubs
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
