very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
