At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
