I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
