I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Dicks are not precious.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
