I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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